all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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