Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize