wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
