when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
