Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
