Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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