then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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