Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
