Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize