I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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