Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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