Where are you?
In a non slutty way
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
