i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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