i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
