I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
