It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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