My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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