i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We need to get me chipped asap
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
