Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize