she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize