That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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