I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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