now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
