I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
