if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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