It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
