So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
