Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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