can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
