Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Randomize
