I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
