You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
