Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Randomize
