my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
