no, he came in my armpit
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Someone came in the potted fern
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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