i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
