Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize