Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
