Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize