how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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