"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
