i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
