i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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