I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Rumble strips road head = magical
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
