he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
