That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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