Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(302): View more from Delaware

She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind

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(254): View more from Texas

she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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(207): View more from Maine

Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

(1-207): View more from Maine

They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

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(925): View more from California

I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...

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(720): View more from Colorado

I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.

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(845): View more from New York

my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.

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