This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My dick has a subreddit
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
