I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize