i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
