he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
