the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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