I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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