a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
