I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Randomize
