found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We left the knife in your bed.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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