You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
