i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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