I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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