We won't sleep together?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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