I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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