"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
