He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
