yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
only if we run a train.
done.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
