guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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